Time is of the Essence

Short Story: Very often we’ll all see an addict or alcoholic complete a three-month program and return to the same environment from which they came out of. The same stores, the same people, maybe a different neighborhood, and they fall…again. Why weren’t they strong enough? Did they need to belong? Perhaps they didn’t have the courage to stand up to their own selves.

Longer Story: A man returns home excited to be a better man eager to love and lift his family up. He has new awareness and determination after having completed his ninety-day retreat at an inpatient program for men (this could also apply to incarceration). What he’s missed are the moments that his family endured, the hardships and debts, the sorrow and silent hopes that his wife and kids have held onto. That he would come home a better man than the man who left. After a couple weeks he’s able to find a job, possibly with the help of his Probation or Parole Officer through a re-entry program. It’s honest work but let’s say it’s a warehouse job and he’s come home to his family already a month behind in rent. He’s working hard and grateful for all the overtime he can get, but it’s barely enough to sustain his family. He had quit going to his AA or NA meetings because of the overtime he has to work. His wife’s support becomes unsettled and one day her frustration turned to complaint. His honest life has become a disappointment, he feels less of a man and more of a sucker for believing. Life lacks promise when your daughters feet hurt and you have to choose between new shoes for the kids or the P.G. and E. bill.

Well he does have good clean time under his belt and just like the guy who went by the liquor store for a soda, he dips thinking he’s strong enough now to hold it all together. He convinces himself he could make extra money selling drugs, just enough to make ends meet. It’s back to the same old life and his comforting thought in denial is that at least he’s on top doing the selling. He has people coming in and out of his garage but the bills are getting paid, the food is better, the kids have shoes and he no longer has to work overtime. Of course sooner rather than later, he had to start using again to ensure the product he’s selling is good or better. He was oblivious that he’s become the criminal element destroying his community and the lives around him. His family learn to tolerate the ten or twenty desperate addicts who need to be fed, bringing stolen merchandise to their house. In their neighborhood cars get broken into, neighbors begin talking about all the strange people and how does it end. The kids are settling not choosing, settling for great shoes paid for with a bag of dope. What a steal! The food in your house provided from someone else’s EBT card, delivered…for a bag of dope.

Is it possible, that the cycle of addiction becomes inherent. People in early recovery need time to reset.